I had to say goodbye to Sadie, Wolf of my Heart, on June 5th. 

It has been weeks and weeks, and almost months, and I am still heartsick and aching. 

I want to tell you the story about her life. I want to tell you how she came to me, what she was like in those early days and weeks. I want to tell you about the shoes she ate, the snuggles she demanded, the comfort she provided. I want to record all of it, but how? How do you capture 13 years of perfection? How do you pay tribute to a creature who made life worth living for all those many years? 

You can’t, is the thing, but I’ll still try. I will continue to revise and rewrite the words I have written to honor her. I will someday tell the story of her last day, and I will try and try and try to do her justice, knowing all the while it will never be enough. 

I was Sadie’s mom for 4,813 days and it was not enough.